Oh sure, we are going to forget that some days are struggle as usual. He now can come to my bud and I as if to say: “Was My presence not enough for you”? So much of the w.e. is looking back at what He has done and saying to yourself: “Self, don’t forget how God provided here, or did this, or moved over here”. I will believe until He tells me otherwise, that He gave me the dream to write (and confirmed it) so that I would not go crazy in the process. I would have had a total meltdown if I did not know He wanted me to write and would make a way. If I didn’t have that I would certainly be saying “Wow, what a mess this all is.” Instead, I am contently (ok, I am doing my best) able to say, “Wow, what a mess this all is, but I have the promise of what is to come. I know what He is able to do”! When we were at the end of the financial rope, He sent us $15k of totally unexpected money. When we didn’t even have money to go to the store, He led people to bring by food and soon we had more than enough. When we were at the end of our spiritual tank rope, He sends people with comforting ‘right now’ words to lift us up! Stand back fool, I feel the anointing now! Whatever rope you are at the end of dangling, look up and expect it will be taken care of in due season. It may be ugly, you may have to cry out to God, but if you are staying in good standing with Him, it will go the right way. It may drive you nearly insane getting there, but understand you are going to have it tested (what you believe).
Stand back, He has more: The American Church has gotten so much like the 7th church of Revelation (Laodicea), that all we care about is having need of nothing! We (me too) have refused to enter the wilderness, we have refused to stay at the end of whatever rope He placed us on, and we suffer! We suffer for lack of knowledge! We suffer for the enjoyment of ignorance! We’ve become the same as the world. The worldly mindset consumes our minds. The reason so many Christians right now are not feeling attacked in these days: the enemy is not worried, he is not sweating you! You are not trying to tear him up, so he keeps you nice and comfy! God is trying to make you uncomfortable so you will see the horrible state of yourself and the Church! God is separating it out right now! I am witnessing too many Christians seeking the comfort over the breakthrough! You can be as comfortable as you like, but understand this: you are not growing closer to God! The only thing a stale and moldy piece of bread is good for: feeding it to the ducks! God can’t put you in a new wineskin if He can’t break the old one first!
The only thing that stubbornness toward God and wilderness will give you is this: another casualty in the wilderness. There are no shortcuts out of the wilderness. If there were, I certainly would have found them! It was not until 40 years of age the Lord led me ‘back’ to my purpose. I doubt I could have ended up here if I started writing out of college, but only He knows that. All the lessons I share have been found out the way most of us do: the hard way. I will never know how many missed opportunities He presented me, or how many ‘extra’ years I wandered around the desert floor seeking purpose. I do know this now: get filled with all the Holy Spirit your little body can handle! Seek Him diligently in everything! Your ‘talents’ mean nothing unless He calls you to use them (anointing verses talent). Don’t be falsely guilted into using your talent because it is what you are best at. I didn’t even know that writing was my talent! How clueless was I? Breakout of the American mindset, it is highly limiting. Stop acting like God is an American/Republican/Conservative! Like He hand-picked your denomination to rule the world! Oh Lord, you don’t want me to get started on all that! He will tear it all apart bro… Everything that is shakable will be shaken… All that is man created will fail… Only He will remain at the end friends!
So now I roll with what He showed me out of all this. I jotted down a checklist of things to remind me the overall points He revealed through it all. I will devote a paragraph or two to each of the points to extrapolate and flesh out what the Lord impressed upon me. There are things He will show me that may vary for others. He will do ‘the same thing’ with someone else (results wise) and do it using a different method. While God never changes, He may change His method of operation. We would still be sacrificing animals on the altar otherwise! Do you see the benefits there? If He were still requiring a sacrifice, we would be struggling to keep McDonald’s and KFC open. Some of us could not bear the burden of that!
The heaviness and notably spiked anxiety in my spirit was as intense as I have ever experienced. Various questions swirled around in my head. What is the source of this attack? What does the Lord want me to learn in this? What is my responsibility? What is the Lord leading me through and what is my response? All these questions made for a numbness to hit my mind. Before I talked with my friend, it was an overwhelming and dark attack with no understanding.
The first point is touched on earlier. His power to overcome on our behalf is undeniable. Whatever He wants to show us will be revealed if we seek His face. He never stops being the most powerful source in all the universe. Simply put, He met me at the darkest, rawest point of being overwhelmed, and stepped directly in to free me. I better understand how when He gets involved, the devil better have his next spot picked out, because he is done! This was the deepest, darkest, and heaviest oppression I have ever felt. It wasn’t depression and could not be mistaken for anything else. As part of His plan, He knew I was ready to experience this whole ordeal. What I felt created a hopelessness and separation. I was hit so heavily that I struggled to utter prayerful words. I couldn’t sleep anyhow so I went ahead and Skyped with my friend to see what would turn up. Monday came and went, and I felt ok, much better. Tuesday came and I thought I was going to make it through the entire day. About 4 in the afternoon I felt it again. I decided I wanted to call someone this time who might have some idea or help pray about an answer. I don’t call her often, but I sensed she would be a good start. My friend helped me to experience how God was victorious over the harshest of things, now it was time to figure out what these things were (if possible).
She listened for a couple of minutes as I laid out what I felt, when, and where (chest, head, etc.). Her response was different than I thought it might be. Instead of asking more questions, sounding concerned, or going into deep prayer, she chuckled affirmatively. I was quietly surprised and she proceeded to ‘welcome me to the club’! I was still puzzled and she explained that usually it is women who are sensitive in intercessory, but that I was sensing the dark things going on in the world. There was a whole new level of peace and understanding that grew in my spirit that day. I could not have been more relieved too! A lot of things go through your head and spirit when you are attacked like this. This knowledge that this was an intercessory burden was comforting in a huge way. You say to yourself “Oh, thank goodness I am not crazy”! So the question for me instantly became ‘what am I burdening for’?
At first glance I was feeling overwhelmed and wondering what I was being drawn into. Perry Stone Jr. preaches that the battle gets the most intense around harvest time! Understand I am still in this phase of heaviness. It is more understandable and manageable, but very tiring. It doesn’t come as much, but if I am called to intercession, there will be more. This is a normal part of life for those who are spiritually sensitive this way (from what I hear).
We need to be praying that the remnants of Israel continue returning from around the world. No one can really manipulate prophesy, it seems to happen well enough on its own. I have been praying wisdom for the leadership in Israel. It is a tough spot to be in, but God is preparing ‘the showdown’ with His enemies. Converts to Christ are happening in ever increasing numbers right now. I am hearing of 1000’s coming to the Lord from many cultures around the world. Here at home, the revival will come among the youth. They want the real deal, and not just the religion of their parents. It takes no conspiracy theorists to know America is in real trouble. Economic, environmental, security, and moral are just a few of the obvious areas! We are forever linked to Israel. What we do to them will happen to us! We have forced Israel to ‘accept’ terror on its’ southern border and we seem to have the same problem on ours! Regardless of your politics, remain steadfast in prayer for your government, even if you live in Crackpotistan!
The third burden is a general one. He calls us to pray for whatever He puts in front of us at the moment. His Spirit guides us to all needs that He desires. This ‘burden’ area is totally new for me. Up to this point I knew it existed and was thankful to not have this particular gift honestly! These first weeks of this ‘gift’ have been raw and dark. I am not sure how effective I have been in prayer, I am simply seeking strength to endure it all! I have experienced some tough periods, but this is by far the hardest one in my life so far. Your mind gets so numb you can hardly even utter prayerful words. The only thing you can clearly think about is getting relief or finding out what the burden is truly for. It appears to me that this is like many things, a learning curve is involved. I will hit that in a minute. The main point of the third burden is to remain totally open to the work of the Spirit. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Not easy to say when dark waves of numbness are attacking your core!
This third burden is a large one, because it may include so many different things. It could lead you to pray for so many different areas: believers around the world, certain people you know and their situation/circumstance, family, something in your own life, work, finances, people around you daily, foiling plans of the enemy, and stuff at your church/ministry just to name a few! Looking back at what the Lord has done for me, I see that operating in any of this would be impossible without the Holy Spirit. One of the biggest tragedies in the Church (worldwide) is the acceptance of the idea that we don’t need much of the Holy Spirit. What some need to understand in all this is the Holy Spirit has brought me to these understandings. If man’s theology were capable, I would have been fine where I was. I believed what a large percentage of theologically minded people still do, that I already had all there is. The Lord showed me how ignorant I really was (and still are). When you begin laying down your knowledge to the Holy Spirit and allow Him to replace it with His, watch out! He may give you more ‘mindjobs’ than you can handle! You must consider how God works in others. Why would He burden that person to pray for….whatever. Why am I not praying that way? Let me share this: keep seeking His face and He will give you plenty of work! Some are not able to handle the sacrifice and pain involved with some of it. Some will not make time for the ‘work’ of it! Some are limited by their theological boxes of understanding, and some are just plain spiritually fat and lazy!
Prayer Thread: I personally believe that our walk is truly a combo platter. The work of the Spirit mixed with great habits. He has shown to work through great habits such as spending a good amount of time with Him each day. It is kind of like the New Year’s resolutions, time to change our ways sometimes. The Lord cracked me over the head with this one day: Yes, you can give me 10 percent of your money, but how about 10 percent of your time? If my math is right, precious few of us will hit that, 2 hours and 40 minutes a day! But hey, that too is another lesson for another day. I don’t promise I won’t go A.D.D. on ya at times!
The habit I want to share briefly about is the power of anointing ‘things’. A few years ago, my daughter woke up in the morning like any other day. Even at a young age, she would talk of dreams, etc. This particular morning (or it could have been in the night), she flat told us, “I saw a man in a black hat”. We both knew that was not good! We called some people over who are very spiritually sensitive because we sensed it had to do with something in our house particularly. What came of it was this: my vinyl record collection was directly below my daughter’s room and she was sensing what was happening. I was very green at this sort of thing, so what the Lord had me do was anoint with oil everything I owned. He also led me to go through my collection and listen to Him about what music needed to go!
In this case, it had to do with ‘words’. Every album, as you know, is filled with verbage. It has a ‘feel’ to it, every record album is different. Now, my wife and I will not bring any object into our house without doing a quick “Blood of Jesus” with a swatch of olive oil on it to bless it. Older objects are definitely more prone to having negative things attached to them because of history.
The main point I want to convey is this: anointing with oil is a powerful tool, especially if your getting a strange atmosphere or vibe from certain objects. This is all about blessing, there are things that we may not consider that carry curses. The blood of Jesus is a powerful blessing as you know! As I will repeat often, pray it through for you! AUTHORS NOTE: I understand some in the Body will totally discount this…don’t care…I lived it! These are just really snippets of a broad subject, so just understand I am keeping things brief overall. My prayer is it helps someone else going through it all who is spiritually sensitive to things as I am.