It has been a few tick tocks since I was inspired to do a full writing. This is live, which I tend not to do with writings, though I rarely edit. I find raw writing to be pure in the flow! My inspirations have been focused on the pearls lately, but here today on 12-3-17 rockin’ up to Christmas…something fresh.
Over the past few months a set of tough circumstances have been hashing themselves out. From being laid off to dealing with a tough situation I hope to never be near again in my entire life. In my younger days I would have been quite depressed amidst all this. Today that is not an option because I tried depressed and it doesn’t work! I find this one thing therapeutic with harder issues. Admitting my absolute inability to do it in my own strength! Oh come on…we’ve all seen ‘pull self up by boot straps’ guy! Many times the reason he has to keep pulling those straps is he doesn’t learn the lesson. I will call him b.s. guy for this illustration (what? oh…boot strap guy). You see…b.s. guy believes there is always a solution within himself if he just musters up enough of it to pull it all together.
I often see b.s. guys and heal strap gals trying to do it in just their strength. I often think to myself when I witness this: “let me know how that works out!” Kind of like the car crash you see coming a mile away. So how are we to react and be? What I am sharing here is the value of being dependent (in my weakness) on God. I know that I am a creature created and only a piece of Him. When my piece is weakened further thru needs, lack of knowledge or understanding (often), or just part of the human condition…who else but He who put me together can restore my piece? This is the deep root of Jesus for me yall. I haven’t seen anything better or really comparable to being with Him and in Him!
We often can try and fill that void with something else, but in the end we are empty if it isn’t God filling that spot. When I had this storm of losing job and close friend(s) I had a decision to make…was I going to lay it all down at the feet of Jesus or pull on my own darn boots? You see, the sooner we give up, the sooner He gets started helping us! Hurry up and get out of the way I always say. Here is a deeper truth: we are all surrendered to something in our lives. Everyone makes a choice here. What is going to be our go to, our strength? Folks, this ain’t no superhero YouTube video with high action and kick butt music!
The key is giving up myself. Creating space for Him to dwell in me. For those of you that have read my stuff…here is a little secret…I ain’t that sharp! The only thing I lay claim to is allowing Him to speak through me using a keyboard. I am not crafty enough to create it on my own. Anything creative came from His hands not mine! I am frail and in constant need of Him (and want it no other way).
You know the sound of the swerving car out of control? Insert that sound affect here please! This seems a far cry from relative, but I sense it true. There is a current ongoing societal issue playing out right now in the news that is an example of b.s. guy controlling his whole darn world no matter who it hurts. These may be extreme examples I do understand, but look at how controlling everything ended for Matt Lauer, Bill O’Reilly, Charlie Rose, and all the hosts of others in news, politics, and entertainment. Look what kind of ugliness takes over when you alone are in control. I bet those guys thought they trusted themselves at one point too. Now, no one trusts them!
This is why I feel strong in my weakness, because it is surrendered to Him fully. I don’t have to worry whether I can fix something because He goes to work on it for me. Many people told me about this job and that job when I was looking around at the landscape. It would have been easy to settle on a job of equal standing, a lateral move. ‘Do a job you may not even enjoy if the benefits are good’ a lot of people will say. I am comfortable hearing God’s voice at this point to know that wasn’t the right choice. I waited, looked, and worked doing some side jobs. I was tempted to be be discouraged or settle. I made up my mind that He has something better than just ok…I heard His voice say to ‘wait a little longer, I have it covered.’ Long story short He brought me to a man that needed a lot of my experiences before in a job as a project manager type (instead of physical labor and hands on). From the ashes a much better paying job that is not physical labor!
The point of that is…no amount of ‘stick to of itism’ would have brought me here. Only my weaknesses surrendered: when my chiropractor bill was a good portion of my paycheck…when there seemed no way out and no way up. My weaknesses and burdens I have to daily give to Him to take care of, it is the only thing that keeps my heart and spirit from becoming heavily loaded.